How It Started

I’m still not sure how to really write this kind of thing, but hopefully I’ll get the hang of it soon. I’ll write about myself, coping mechanisms I use, and other things I find interesting really. To be honest, this is one of my coping mechanisms – talking and writing about things can make a world of difference.

Right now, I’m 15. I’ve been quite ill since I was 12, in mid 2014, but it got really bad at the end of 2015 up until now, the beginning of 2017 (wow). Everyone always asks me what set me off, and the answer has always been the same – I have no idea. It wasn’t a direct response to an event in my life, it just happened to me, like it happens to so many people. Anyway, I didn’t tell anyone for about a year, until my supportive parents saw my self harming and took me to a doctor. Afterwards, I had a string of extremely unhelpful therapists, until finally I found one who I clicked with, and she was absolutely amazing. By this point, I had been seen by a psychiatrist and been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and put on Prozac, which was a massive factor in my eventual recovery.

SSRIs are weird, because there’s very mixed medical opinions about them and I don’t know if they even help me past the placebo effect. I’m currently coming off them, which is both scary and liberating at the same time. Through all this, I’d been covered by my medical insurance, but after 6 months (!) they declared me chronic, and I was referred to CAMHS, the UK Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. I appreciate how lucky I was to have private insurance and relatively quick treatment, because the waiting lists for CAMHS are horrendous, due to their lack of resources and funding. However, CAMHS is another area in which you could say I was lucky, because I was referred to the service as an urgent case and it came through within a month or so. So I’ve been seeing CAMHS ever since. I’ll probably cover different areas and stuff I haven’t even tried to go into here in other blogs, because I think I’ve piled all this on quite quickly. Stay online for my next update!



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